🔗 Share this article

“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into preserved goods and firearms.” This nugget of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, articulate, spectacled member of the slick creature crowd that infests Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s merely an financial suggestion from one monster to another. However, in a strange manner, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Honestly, hear me out.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the biggest mistake you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. In fact, most of the fang-bearing creatures that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same knowing, self-referential sense of humour regarding the indistinct border separating the mundane and unadulterated chaos. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and with the passage of time, it’s the theme that echoes the loudest.

A Youthful Obsession

Understandably, my fondness for this movie wasn’t born on such an philosophical plane. Growing up, we possessed merely a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case almost certainly acquired from an non-chain rental store and boasting growling monsters on its knackered cover. I was right away smitten and these films wasted no time lodging themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. From then on, they became an near-everyday part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s original typically gets all the praise, thanks mostly because of its legacy as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its follow-up rarely gets the same level of high regard, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d seclude myself indoors and pop it in. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Over time, it became deeply rooted in my psyche. If my parents observed this fixation, they appeared unbothered.

Hidden Delights and Pop-Culture References

As I grew, new revelations enhanced repeat viewings, amplifying the pleasure of watching diminutive verdant beasts joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking development mogul and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his former spouse Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his real-life counterpart.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was based on a genuine “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film different iterations of a self-aware scene where Gremlins seize control of the exact movie you are viewing. A version for theaters, one for VHS and TV, each offering a winking bit of meta pop-culture magic before the term was even a thing.

A Lasting Influence

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this hidden treasure kept me hooked as an adult. Ultimately, I even interviewed Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation informing me he made the movie with the specific aim of mocking those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This anarchic insubordination and commitment to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only increased my affection for it.

When I endured a unexpected loss in the family earlier this year, I was surprised to find that, during my deepest grief, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The nostalgic calm it furnished was necessary to dilute my mind’s mourning mire – but the perspectives it had imparted to me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just can’t control. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to be like them: accept the turmoil, invest all your resources into canned food and shotguns and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.

It’s powerful existential guidance from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my go-to cinematic solace.